what do i mean by that? well, take last night's on call as an example. i sent blood samples to the lab, helped the nurse to move the patient to another ward, balance cairan, take vital signs, did ECG, followed the resident for her rounds, but this morning because i didnt vital sign ALL the patients in the ward, i got scolded. i vital sign and balance cairan for the CRITICAL patients only, because of some miscommunication between me and the resident. she said she told me to vital sign ALL the patients and balance cairan for CRITICAL patients. but still, straight away all the other stuffs i did the whole night dissipated into thin air. simply because of that one mistake (hey, when she called me i came back to the hospital from my house just to vital signs the other patients okay?!), everything that i helped with last night was forgotten. kerana setitik nila rosak susu sebelanga. or something like that.
and i feel so pissed with myself because i let her rant and make faces and noises at me without saying anything, all i did was smile and take it all, answering 'yes, okay. sorry, doc.' WTF is wrong with me?! what happened to the me i once was?! why am i such a freaking PUSSY!?
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